The Pothole Lessons

Today I was contemplating on past life lessons. Some are embarrassing, shameful, still fresh, and painful. But without them, how do we grow? Our knowledge and decision making abilities need to be tested occasionally, and then how we choose to handle those incidents impacts our character, challenges our ignorance, hopefully - pushes us forward.

Since I broke my foot two months, two days, three hours, and 58 minutes ago (and counting), I have had many opportunities for reflection, decisions, action, and growth. Have I taken them all as they came? Uh... No. But here's where I am today. 

I find myself currently riding the line between enjoying every moment I have left of this "restful?" journey and missing or rather looking forward to getting back to "life as I know it." I have several celebrations, parties, events planned with my family and friends in Michigan which I wouldn't have been able, rather, have chosen, to be a part of otherwise and I'm excited I am joining in! But on the other hand, looking at photos of Gigi at our apartment in Chicago has me feeling sad and missing our routine life there, and also excited as I look forward to how it will be different when we get back to it. 

I am a slightly different person going back than when I left. I've had 2 months + to slow down, enjoy more time with Genevieve, invest in family and friends outside of Chicago, cultivate relationships, watch numerous hours of Netflix *insert brain bleed*, learned to knit and crochet, and fall in love with sitting outside. ETC. About a month into this journey I began looking at how I wanted to shape my life. Being forced to slow down helped me realize I was running myself ragged and not really enjoying anything. I felt despair in some cases, which is ironic considering I still feel despair doing the complete opposite. *Insert a theory on "the grass is always greener."* So, while I have not handled every moment of this time as well as I would wish - it's a constant battle between gratefulness and rage - I have slowly been changing and moving forward. 

When I look back on this time I want to remember so much that I am grateful for: the snuggles with Genevieve, the time to color, the conversations with friends, the support of my family in MI and adopted family in Chicago, the love people have for me, the care I've been given, the hope for humanity that I've been shown, the romance of my husband from afar (distance DOES make the heart grow fonder), getting ice cream with my grandma, mom, and daughter, simple days of playing in the back yard, the fb community who is there to "like" and encourage. So much good has come out of this! 

Two more weeks till I return home. I am hoping that I continue to learn more life lessons, painful as they may be, so that my life will be even brighter, more full, and more abundant than it was before I fell into the pothole.