Public Appearances Got You Down?

A nanny friend and I met up for lunch today with our combined three kiddos.  We've been doing this for a few years now and had a good laugh remembering back to one of the first times...

Back then we were juggling a toddler, baby, and infant between us and were barely able to speak two words to each other.  Why would we put ourselves through this madness???  Because when you are home all day you absolutely must get out of the house and see and interact with adults.

Today our scenario is a little different, three toddlers, 3-4.5 years old.  Our madness is a little different, and we're sort of able to talk to each other a little bit better now.  It's just too funny of a site: food dropping on the floor, kids kissing each other with pizza faces, laughing, screeching, food flying out of mouths, and constant wriggling in the chairs.

In my experience I've learned a few tips to help with heading out into public and attempting to NOT be one of "those caregivers" who has the screaming, misbehaved imbeciles.

1.  Pre-game!  Talk to your child about where you are going, who you will see, and what the expectations are.  For example, "Lil' Rap, we are going to go to Giordanos for with L&E.  We're going to eat pizza and I need you to listen and pay attention.  I want you to sit in your chair properly and use your manners.  We will not be having dessert at the end, but you can have a special treat later today."  This usually extends into a dialogue of a million questions, but you get the point.  Prepare them, make sure they know what you want and expect of them!

2.  Pack Essentials!  This gets easier as they get older, but it's always good to have their favorite snacks on hand for when they get impatient waiting or refuse to eat what you ordered.  Throw in some small toys/crayons/etc to keep them occupied.  This will also help so you can actually have a slight conversation with the other frazzled adult sitting across from you.  Don't forget wipes, bib, and utensils!

3.  Post game! Reward and acknowledge your child's good behavior or if it didn't go so well, talk about what you can do differently next time.

These steps are written for a restaurant outing, but you can apply these tips anywhere: the store, a playdate, a meeting, class, etc.  In all cases, remember: choose your battles and stay calm when things don't go perfect.

A little extra note:
Many kids use public appearances as an opportunity to get what they want, embarrass you, attempt to gain control.  Don't give in!  If your child starts screaming for a candy bar, don't give it to them just because they are embarrassing you.  Walk out of the store or find an area you can speak to them and firmly discipline/reprimand them for their behavior and move on.  Giving in once starts a pattern and they will use it every time!  Save yourself, don't get started or stop the craziness.  More on this in the future...