Most, if not everyone knows I participate in personal growth work. It's hard to know me for any length of time and not know this about me because I get so excited (or upset) and eventually start sharing what I'm learning. And I love when people "match me." (A phrase borrowed from a fellow groupie.) I love when I vulnerably share how I'm feeling, something I like or dislike, or my latest upset around raising a toddler and the person shares something on the same level of vulnerability in return. It's like being genuinely hugged, a comforting embrace that fills my soul.
In the past five years, especially since becoming a mother, I haven't had time for fluff. An example: When Genevieve was born I was firm in my belief of "Breast is Best!" It was my honor, privilege, right as a mother to nurse my child. Sadly though, my nursing experience was NOT as expected, hoped, and wished for. It was a brutal battle between postpartum emotions and a hungry baby. (I'll share more details in a future blog post.) So when a friend would come to visit me days and weeks after Gigi was born, they often found me deliriously tired and covered in milk, tears, and sweat. It was impossible for me to fake my way through conversations and pretend everything was beautiful and everything I had imagined. I needed friends who could "match me": mirror back the pain I felt, share their pain, and hug me.
This is not natural for me though! And I'd guess it's not natural for most people. We are trained to be guarded and suspicious. And as a child, rightfully so. But there came a point in my life where surface conversations and trite sayings just didn't cut it anymore. They didn't heal me as much as talking about my pain did. As we wrap up this Thanksgiving holiday season (I'm still in denial that tomorrow is Dec 1), I am grateful for the friends I have who share their rawness with me; who open their souls and match me. This is what comforts me in life, more than the pursuit of happiness, there is joy in soul-full relationships.
Thank you friends. Thank you family. We are all on a journey and I feel blessed to have you be a part of mine.
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